A few endearing passages to warm your heart on St George's Day

Photo: Stephen Dawson (Wikimedia Commons)

I know it’s seen as a bit uncouth these days for those on the political Left to engage in any display of patriotism, but I just wanted to take this opportunity to wish all of my subscribers a happy St George’s Day. In doing so, I also hope that you manage to dodge the hordes of militant progressives straining to tell you that St George ‘was really a Turkish migrant, you know’!

By way of recognising the many things that are still good (and quirky) about our country, I thought I’d share these rather endearing passages from American author Bill Bryson’s wonderful Notes from a Small Island.

Marmite, village fetes, country lanes, people saying 'mustn't grumble' and 'I'm terribly sorry but…', people apologising to me when I conk them with a careless elbow, milk in bottles, beans on toast, haymaking in June, stinging nettles, seaside piers, Ordnance Survey maps, crumpets, hot-water bottles as a necessity, drizzly Sundays …

What a wondrous place this was - crazy as fuck, of course, but adorable to the tiniest degree. What other country, after all, could possibly have come up with place names like Tooting Bec and Farleigh Wallop, or a game like cricket that goes on for three days and never seems to start?

Who else would think it not the least odd to make their judges wear little mops on their heads, compel the Speaker of the House of Lords to sit on something called the Woolsack, or take pride in a military hero whose dying wish was to be kissed by a fellow named Hardy? ('Please Hardy, full on the lips, with just a bit of tongue.')

What other nation in the world could possibly have given us William Shakespeare, pork pies, Christopher Wren, Windsor Great Park, the Open University, Gardeners' Question Time and the chocolate digestive biscuit? None, of course…

The fact is that this is still the best place in the world for most things - to post a letter, go for a walk, watch television, buy a book, venture out for a drink, go to a museum, use the bank, get lost, seek help, or stand on a hillside and take in a view.

All of this came to me in the space of a lingering moment. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I like it here. I like it more than I can tell you.

Have a fine St George’s Day.

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